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Become self-aware

Since negativity is only a symptom, we have to dig within ourselves for its root causes. This means we we’ll want to search out the feelings that are contributing to our negativity. For many of us, dealing with emotional topics is uncomfortable, but we’re deceiving ourselves if we think we can permanently ignore our inner feelings because they will always surface in some form, usually as inappropriate negative actions, judgmental assumptions, and mood swings.

All feelings, even unhappy ones, have positive value, so instead of hiding from our feelings we need to become emotionally intelligent by improving our ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply emotions as a source of personal energy, information, and influence (5).
Reduce negative phrasing

When we overuse negative phrasing, it hurts our relationships with others on both conscious and unconscious levels. It can also lead others to view us as bureaucratic and inflexible. Negative phrases include words like don’t, can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, and usually always, never, and but. Even if it isn’t our intent, negative phrasing implies blame or limits the options of the recipients, leaving them feeling as though they have no control of the situation, whereas positive phrasing gives suggestions and options, is encouraging, and stresses positive actions and consequences.

Negative phrasing: We can’t start until we receive your report.
Positive phrasing: Please give us your report so we can start.

Negative phrasing: You did that wrong.
Positive phrasing: Here’s another way to do that.

Negative phrasing: That won’t work in our company.
Positive phrasing: Here are some obstacles you’ll likely have to overcome if you proceed in that manner.

Negative phrasing: You didn’t fill in all the required information, so I’m returning your request form back to you.
Positive phrasing: If you’ll provide the information in the highlighted fields and resubmit the form, I’ll get it processed for you.
Eliminate negative self-talk

Negativity can also creep into our psyche through the silent messages we tell ourselves. Many of us do this so often and on such an unconscious level that we may not realize it, but our mind is aware of it, and much of our negative self-talk is self-reinforcing. It causes us to perceive ourselves or situations negatively, and that perception becomes our reality, which in turn further reinforces our negative perception.

There is truth behind the phrase “we are who we think we are,” so we should work on giving ourselves affirming yet realistic self-talk. The point of positive affirmations isn’t to tell ourselves rosy lies, which actually do more harm than good (6). But we can instead transform our negative thoughts into positive phrases; for example, instead of saying “I’ll never get this report done on time” we should tell ourselves “It may be tough, but I’ll get this report done on time.”
Change it, accept it, or leave it

We all have demands on us and situations that we can’t fully control. It is pointless, wasted energy letting these things draw us into negativity. But even when we think we don’t have any control, there’s often ways we can minimize the situation, so if we find ourselves saying “that’s just the way it is,” we should stop and make sure we’re not overlooking something that can be done. And even for situations that appear completely out of our control, we actually have the final say because we have three options in any situation; we can change it, we can accept it; or we can leave it. Regardless of which decision we choose, it helps us to remember that we’re in complete control of this choice.
2. Eliminating Negativity in our Teams

To keep our team functioning as a cohesive, efficient unit, we have to quickly deal with negativity as soon as it appears. Since negativity is the result of people losing their self-confidence, sense of control, or community spirit, we should first make sure that our management style isn’t contributing to the problem:

Are we leading by a positive example?
Our team members get their cues for acceptable behavior from us, so our behavior should be impeccable and our attitude be sanguine.

Are we keeping the promises we made, and are we following up on things when we said we would?
Keeping our word builds trust while distrust leads to negativity.

Are we giving effective recognition?
Team members need to know that their efforts are valued by us and by our organization.

Are we keeping team members challenged?
Boredom and lack of new opportunities contribute to people feeling underutilized and undervalued.

Are we giving our team members a chance to participate in governance issues and decisions?
It helps provide a sense of control if we give people a chance to participate in setting rules and consequences.

Are we sharing information equally and in an open, honest, and direct manner?
Information and access to it are power, and if we’re not providing relevant information equally to everyone we risk feelings of elitism between team members.

Are we establishing clear and achievable visions?
Goals are important motivators. They give our team something to strive for and something positive that they can believe in.

Are we letting people get by with complaining?
Complaining is a form of helplessness; we want to teach the person to take complaints and turn them into a solution-oriented actions.

Are we creating too many rules for everyone when only a few people are at fault?
Excessive rules give the impression to our team members that they are children and incapable of self- and peer-accountability.

Are we applying policies and rules equally and fairly to everyone?
When policies and rules aren’t applied equally, we contribute to cliques and exclusivity within team members.

Negativity also stems from organizational factors. A 2002 study of 1,400 employees and human resource executives found workplace negativity to be caused by five major situations (7):

Excessive workload
Lack of recognition
Lack of challenging opportunities
Anxiety over financial security
Concern over the company’s future

These are problems that usually don’t have quick and easy answers, but there are concrete steps we can take to address many of them. For example, even if we can’t permanently reduce someone’s workload, we can certainly do some juggling, even if only temporarily, to help out a stressed team mate. If organizational change is causing worry, the best thing we can do is communicate frequently with our team and be an empathetic listener.

When we have negative team members, we should talk to them in private about their negative behavior and set clear expectations for improvement. Beyond the destructive effects of negativity, there’s a legal risk to us and our company because negative people are more likely to harbor bitterness and seek retaliation when they feel they’ve been wronged.

If the person’s negativity is rooted in problems outside of work, we can’t take on a role as counselor. It’s our duty to be empathetic and point out resources the person can turn to, such as an employee assistance program, but we shouldn’t let ourselves become therapists, and the person’s negative behavior in the workplace still needs to be corrected.

As in any employee situation, we’ll want to focus on the behavior and not the person, so we’ll need to discuss how the team member’s negativity affects his or her personal productivity and how it’s a detriment to the team and company. We’ll need to allow the person a full opportunity to discuss the situation from his or her perspective without our interruption. As the person speaks, we’ll want to be an active listener, paying attention for root causes since these will be the items we can suggest action-oriented solutions for.

We’ll also want to listen for perceptions the person has that might be inaccurate, and we can use carefully worded paraphrasing or follow-up questions that might help the person recognize that his perception of the situation might not be as one-sided as he believes.

If all else fails, and our efforts to get the person to change the negative behavior aren’t successful, he or she needs to be removed from the team or let go regardless of his or her skills. No one’s benefits to the organization outweigh the hidden costs and legal risks his or her negativity causes.
3. Addressing negativity from our coworkers

Dealing with negativity from our coworkers is fraught with political difficulties, but we have a duty to maintain a non-hostile work environment. We have to carefully consider the situation, what options are available, what actions we can take, and our willingness to accept the outcome of those actions. Anything we do must always be done with tact and the highest level of professionalism, and within organizational policies and under the guidance of our company’s human resources professionals.

The person may not even realize that his or her words or actions are being perceived negatively. In a casual, private setting, we can tell the person how her actions affected us. In many situations, we might be pleasantly surprised to find that no negativity was intended.

But if the behavior is chronic and intentional, and we’ve allowed ourselves to get caught up in someone else’s sphere of negativity, we’ll want to break that cycle. This includes stopping them when they begin gossiping, offering them different perceptions of the same event, or providing action-oriented solutions to their complaints and redirecting the conversation. For example, “You’ve been complaining about XYZ for three weeks. Have you taken your ideas for a solution to the problem to your manager?”

Finally, there are some people who aren’t willing to break out of their negativity, and if it’s dragging us down along with them, we need to keep those people at a professional, courteous, and impersonal distance. Tactics we can use are to rely on email communication with them as much as possible and practicing emotional detachment when the person is behaving negatively, not letting any of his negative actions or statements get under our skin.

Negativity is destructive to us, our teams, and our companies. When negativity is allowed to fester, productivity is diminished, faith in the organization falters, and innovation will stagnate. In some cases we can influence or mitigate the situations contributing to negativity, but in many cases all we can do is adjust our perception and attitude towards the situation. For the sake of our team, negative behavior from team members can’t be tolerated, so we have to confront the team member about his or her negative behavior. When coworkers can’t overcome their negativity, we may have no choice but to distant ourselves from them.

Copyright 2010, J. Alex Sherrer, Project Management Road Trip

References
1. Topchik, Gary S. (2001). Managing Workplace Negativity. AMACOM – American Management Association: New York. ISBN: 0-8144-0582-7.
2. Gallozzi, Chuck. Negative Thinking. (n.d.). Negative Thinking. Retrieved from http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/negativethinking.htm.
3. Greenberg, Margaret H. and Arakawa, Dana. (2006). Optimistic Managers & Their Influence on Productivity & Employee Engagement in a Technology Organization. Retrieved from http://repository.upenn.edu/mapp_capstone/3.
4. Popper, Micha, Amit, Karin, Gal, Reuvan, Mishkal-Sinai, Moran, & Lisak, Alton. (2004). The Capacity to Lead: Major Psychological Differences Between Leaders and Nonleaders. Military Psychology, October 2004, (16)4, pps 245 – 263. Retrieved from http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~content=a785378355&db=all.
5. Cooper, Robert K. & Sawaf, Ayman. (1998).Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations, page 8. Pedigree Book: New York. ISBN: 0-399-52404-5.
6. Wood, Joanne V., Perunovic, Elaine W. Q., & Lee, John W. (2009). Positive Self-Statements: Power for Some, Peril for Others. Psychological Science, May 21, 2009 (20)7, pps. 860-866. Retrieved from http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122399441/abstract?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0.
7. Towers Perrin and Gang & Gang. (2003). Working Today: Exploring Employees’ Emotional Connections to Their Jobs. Towers Perrin/Gang & Gang Research, 2003. cmveletrhy.